AOC Practices “White Guy” Voice Daily In Front Of Mirror

We personally love her white guy voice, but some people are getting concerned.

Highschool Sweethearts Have Kid To Fill Void In Meaningless Life

Fresh out of college and with no real prospects, this young couple has a happy little…

New Game Of Thrones Season Causes Increase In Pregnancy

An early version of the HBO hit, Game of Thrones, has already gone out to critics…

Kevin O’Leary Spends Entire Speaking Event Making Fart Noises

Kevin O’Leary from Shark Tank promises you his secrets to success and financial independence if you…

Indicted Yale Doctor attributes game “Operation” to his success

Caught in the stunning college entrance scandal, a prominent Yale graduate has confessed to having no…

“Splicing” Is The New Scary Weight Loss Trend Sweeping High Schools

American high schools have been the focus of bad trends over the years from “Gluten-Free” meals…

Trump proposes meager border budget while Dems continue push for 9 trillion dollar Mecha-Bernie

This Monday our President proposed a budget for the ever important border security issue wracking the…

“Covfefe” and “Hamberder” added to Merriam-Webster Dictionary in Honor of President Trump

Famous for his cryptic misspellings, President Donald Trump is now being honored by the prestigious Merriam-Webster…

Justin Bieber Looking As Awful As He Feels

Once hailed as the new Prince of Pop, Justin Bieber has seen better days. “I have…

Climate Change Not Linked to Any Scientific Evidence says Man with little knowledge on the Subject

We interviewed this Midwestern father of two, after hearing him grumbling about the price of organic…

Everything Fine in Venezuela, Definitely not a Coup, says local Journalist

The 2019 crisis in Venezuela grows darker as blackouts continue with no end in sight but…

Ocasio-Cortez includes a provision in Green New Deal to replace toilet paper with seashells like in ‘Demolition Man’

This week freshman New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doubled down on her divisive plan to move…

Trump Set to Visit Detained Migrant Children, Participate in Story Time

Later this week Trump is scheduled to visit detained migrant children in El Paso, Texas. He…

Ann Coulter’s Shocking Confession

In an unprecedented turn of events, political commentator Ann Coulter confesses to claims of her being…

Bernie Sanders is a Robot

Bernie Sander’s is well known for being the first person to raise 5.9M in one day…

Coffee Consumption Linked to Being a Liberal

Two new studies show that high coffee consumption might be influencing you in unanticipated ways. Coffee…

Study Concludes Autism Linked to Children Mouthing Loose Change

Parents today were awoken to a terrible new trouble that is now sweeping the nation.  A…

Trump Nominated Best President by the NRA, Democrats Cry for a Recount

The NRA has always been a shining beacon of Christianity and Safety when it comes to…

Avocado Orchards To Be Repurposed into Pomegranate Orchards as Demand Plummets

Millennials and Gen Z’ers have long been stereotyped as avocado enthusiasts putting avocados on everything from…